I thought I'd start out with an easy topic that couldn't possibly cause any controversy: Religion!
Whoa there, cowboy, get back here. I promise this won't be too terrible.
(And now I shall spinelessly hide behind a disclaimer that I know will do nothing to stop angry commenters.)
*~Friendly Disclaimer of Groveling Friendly Friendshipfulness~*I do not claim to be right about anything. I don't know shit, and fully admit it! I fully believe everyone is entitled to their own opinions about religion, spirituality, et al. If I say anything that offends you, just tell yourself, "This Jess chick is talking out of her ass (a thing she is wont to do). Jess is a stupid [insert sexist or gender-equanimous slur of your choice] and nothing she says can shake my faith. I pity her for having literal used urinal cakes for brains."
Now, that that's out of the way, let's get to the shit that'll probably piss people off!
I do not believe in an anthropomorphic god.
Anthropomorphism is "the attribution of human characteristics or behavior to a god, animal, or object." Personally, I don't believe in that. Obviously many, many religious people do. I'm not religious, but I am kind of spiritual. You know, just like almost every other 30 year old girl who does yoga and owns 3 Pure Moods CDs. (I am aware that I am a walking cliche. Moving on.)
But religious or not, I believe in the universe and every living thing in it. I believe in quantum physics, because that shit is like magic for people who don't believe in magic, and it's rad. I kind of believe in reincarnation, but I don’t really believe in souls - I think when I die, the “me” that I was will be gone forever, and small parts of me will be infinitely scattered and recycled throughout the rest of the universe. I don’t see how I could retain the same kind of consciousness I have now; 3% of me will maybe be another new person, and 2% will be a tree, and 8% will be a cow... etc etc. But hey, maybe if I meditate a lot, I’ll be able to keep my “soul” (consciousness) intact even after death. Anything might be possible.
Wait... does any of this sound maybe a little familiar to you? Maybe expand your normal idea of religions and spirituality in the real world, and look instead at fiction?
No anthropomorphic god, just the universe and everything in it; an energy that surrounds us and binds us. Feel it: Between you, me; the tree, the rock - everywhere. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter.
Yup, that’s right: I think Star Wars hit the nail on the head with the Force.
What kind of dumbass takes a work of fiction seriously enough to base their actual spirituality on it?
The kind of dumbass I am. And also Scientologists.
(And from the point of view of atheists: All religious people who ever lived, everywhere. [That one's for you, Dawkins.])
Wait! I'm not saying your religion is fiction. I'm just saying those bastard atheists think that.
(Just kidding, atheists. I love you guys.)
There’s also the other option: George Lucas is a prophet.
Hold up, I ain't crazy. God you're judgmental. Let me explain.
You've maybe heard of the Akashic Records? "Akasha" in Sanskrit means "aether," and I know this because of Wikipedia, not because I have a yoga guru or anything. The Akashic Records are a theoretical "compendium of mystical knowledge supposedly encoded in a non-physical plane of existence known as the astral plane." Basically it's cloud storage for all of humankind's thoughts and actions, from the beginning to the end of time.
The theory is that it can be tapped into, and all the information can be accessed, if you know how to do it.
Assuming it's real, that is. Which is a massive assumption to make, but hey, this is all hypothetical.
So, what if the idea of the Force, and Buddhism, and Christianity, and Islam, and Judaism, and every other religion, ever, were all ideas pulled from the Akashic Records? What if every prophet or every holy person who ever spread the word of any religion, was chosen because they were able to most productively spread the word of their religion through the most popular entertainment medium of their era?
If so, does it really seem so crazy to think that someday a filmmaker might be a prophet? (What if film had existed when the bible was written? Don't you think they would have made it a movie rather than a book? Better technology, after all. Accessible even by the illiterate.)
And consider the unprecedented popularity of Star Wars across all cultures of the world, for going on 40 years now, even after the prequel trilogy that many vocally criticized for being total crap. (How dare you. Revenge of the Sith is the stuff dreams are made of.)
I’m just saying... the impact George Lucas made with Star Wars is significant, whether you like the movies or not. It says even more about the strength of the franchise that even those three films, which were admittedly not as magical as the original trilogy, did nothing to lessen peoples' love of the first three movies!
And this is just talking about people who like the movies; who aren't crazies like me, who think the Force should be more than just a cool fictional idea. There are, in fact, more practicing adherents of Jediism than there are Scientologists in Britain. Okay, Scientology was probably a bad example (it always is), but you get what I mean, right?
All I’m saying is, it’s the message that matters, not the medium. And the message of the Force strikes a very deep chord with me, and with many others, too, judging by how many Jediism websites there are.
Am I seriously saying I believe George Lucas is a prophet?
Well, no, because I don’t actually believe in that kind of thing.
But I do believe that the Force is an incredibly valid spirituality, and George should at least be patted on the back for figuring out such a great way explain the whole concept. And listen, I’m not saying this stuff because I’m a crazy Star Wars fan. (I am a crazy Star Wars fan, but that’s not why I’m saying this.)
The thing is, George Lucas purposely designed the Force to be a very unspecific amalgam of the most basic parts of all faiths. He researched religions and he boiled them down to their essence and that became the Force.
And I happen to feel, personally, that trying to lock down specifics on things you have no scientific proof of is an ultimately futile act. (More on that in a second.)
So with that in mind, if a flannel-wearing man named George was able to boil down all the religions of the world into one single, simple fictional religion that explains the original idea of ALL HUMAN FAITH to a world-wide audience... I think we should thank him for doing the world a favor. He just gave us the answer to all our problems. If everyone spiritual believed in only the essence of faith, voila, no more holy wars, ever! Which is certainly in no way hyperbole!
Holy shit, did I just say George Lucas gave the world a way to end all future holy wars?! Okay, that was a really stupid statement. Especially considering the inevitable schism that would someday occur between Light Side and Dark Side adherents, not to mention Sith and grey Jedi, and the Nightsisters... I mean, what a nightmare, am I right?
(What do you mean, you don't know what a Nightsister is? Well god damn it, never mind then.)
I just think, you know, don’t look a gift-bantha in the mouth.
Who cares if the Force comes from a fantasy film? Christianity comes from a book! “No, it doesn’t!” Christians cry. “It really happened!”
Well, Star Wars really happened, too. A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. It was divinely inspired and they just turned it into a movie series instead of a book of scriptures.
“That's not true!” Christians cry. "You have no proof it was divinely inspired!" (They're really pissed now.)
But surely they understand that you don't need proof when you have faith?
So what I told you was true.
(From a certain point of view.)
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